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[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] oh my god okay I’m exhausted I’m not as good a shape as I thought I was thank God I didn’t put the heels on I thought okay it’s 4:30 I’m not changing to heels I’m gonna wear the tennis shoes for y’all I hope you don’t mind right okay I’m seriously winded oh so I have a question for you what’s your next chapter I’m dead serious what is the next chapter of your life I don’t care how young you are how old you are I want to turn the tables back on you I want you to think about where you’ve been I want you to think about why are you here there is a new chapter starting in your life in your business in your relationships and it’s gonna start right now so what is it you know I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I’m in the middle of starting a new chapter I I’ve been thinking I don’t know how many of you know me or know my story but I’m gonna tell you a little bit about it the last chapter of my life my professional life started about six years ago so six years ago I gave this TED talk this TEDx talk and you know by the way this was the first time I had ever given a speech so this is if you want to see what it looks like for somebody to have a 21 minute long panic attack this is a great speech to watch and you know what was I talking about well you know I was asked to come and talk about how I had changed my career so many times because I had been the kind of person that really could never figure out what the heck I should do with my life I had gone to law school because I couldn’t figure out what to do I practiced criminal defense for a long time then I went into corporate litigation then I went into the dot-com scene then I got into the entrepreneurial scene that I got into the coaching scene then I into the media business and I was a syndicated talk show host on the radio for a while and then I worked for CNN and I never thought I would be a speaker never in a million years so I was giving this talk and it was to talk more about how you change and at the end I let a little secret slip you see I had discovered something at a terrible time in my life how many of you know what the five-second rule is not the one with the food on the floor you know where you drop it okay great thank you for raising your hands if you’ll if you’ll just give me a couple minutes I’m gonna I’m gonna bring everybody else into the party that didn’t raise their hand so in 2008 my husband’s restaurant business started going under and it took our house our entire life savings and almost our marriage with it and thankfully it didn’t take the marriage but it took all the money and at the time I was also unemployed and and I was facing an issue where I just felt like about myself excuse the word but I did have you ever felt that way yeah the alarm would go off in the morning and all I could think about her all the things that were wrong with my life you ever wake up and you feel that sense of dread you got a job you hate going to you got a body that you don’t like you just don’t feel that good well that was me every single morning and I was also doing a lot making a lot of decisions that were pretty bad I was drinking a lot I was not that nice to my husband and I was really really struggling because I was really scared see I was doing a lot of things that caused me pain because I was in a lot of pain well what ended up happening is one night I I I was watching a commercial and I saw this rocket ship launching and I thought oh my god that’s the answer that’s it right there tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off because I was hitting the snooze button over and over and over again tomorrow morning when that alarm goes off I am going to rock it out of that bed like a rocket ship I’m gonna move so fast that I cannot talk myself out of getting up now it might have been the four manhattan’s I had had that night that gave me that dumb idea but you know whatever I’m gonna take the inspiration where it comes so the next morning the alarm goes off and I’ll never forget this you guys it was a Tuesday it was February we had lost the kids college savings there was a lien on her house Chris was sleeping on the couch I was unemployed I felt like the world’s worst parent I felt like them just no confidence no idea how he’s gonna dig myself out of this hole the alarm goes off and and it was weird it was like time suspended immediately as I laid there in bed I started thinking I started thinking about all the things that were wrong I started thinking about the dread that I felt I started thinking about off another terrible day I just don’t have the energy for this and then I did something I had never done before I could feel the doubt closed in as I was lying there thinking I went 5 4 3 2 1 and I stood up and I was like what the hell just happened 5 4 3 2 1 that’s a dumbest thing I’ve ever heard the next morning the alarm goes off I didn’t feel like getting up still had all the same problems I went 5 4 3 2 1 I stood up now that I’m almost 50 when the alarm goes off at 2:00 Thor wouldn’t the body alarm goes off and I have to go the bathroom I don’t lay there and think about it 5 4 3 2 1 I get up and go lying there it’s very hard to go back to sleep isn’t it so a funny thing happened as I started to use this stupid rule okay as I started to use this rule a minute count backwards 5 4 3 2 1 if I know I should do something my whole life started to change you see what I’m about to prove to you today is that your entire life is happening in five-second windows that the secret to greater confidence the secret to beating self-doubt the secret to building that legacy to being hungry but less was talking about five-second windows 5 second decisions I made myself a promise as I started to beat the habit of hitting the snooze button I said to myself look if I find myself in a situation where I know what I should do but I don’t feel like doing it I’m gonna use this stupid rule so I went 5 4 3 2 1 and get up and I’d walk into the kitchen and I’d see Chris and we still had all these financial problems that I’d go want to strangle you because it’s easier to point the finger isn’t it at other people you ever notice when you’re pointing the finger at other people and blaming and shaming and complaining there’s always three pointing right back at you isn’t there I think it’s the universe or God’s Way of saying hey the power is in you but when you don’t feel confident you don’t feel that the power is in you do you you feel full of doubt so slowly but surely I started making five second decisions I would see the booze and I knew I shouldn’t have and I go 5 4 3 2 1 and I turn away and see the phone and knew I needed to make a phone call to get a job and I’d go 5 4 3 2 1 and everything started to change now in full disclosure I was never gonna tell anybody about this ever cuz it sounds so stupid oh you guys want to change your life no problem just count to five done okay mic drop I’m out that’s it here’s the other thing I had no idea why it worked I honestly thought like I was a witch I had figured out a spell I understood like how to create magic in my head and here’s the other thing this was classified this was my stuff why would I want you to have it this was working for me I suddenly went from depressed drinking in bed in debt fighting with my husband to getting up getting in shape getting sober for a while getting a job getting a radio show making that radio show syndicate making more money than I ever thought was possible how one five-second decision at a time so I never intended to tell anybody because it was working for me it was working for Chris and then I get and I do this talk and I’m having a panic attack and I totally forget where I am and at the very end I’m like oh by the way there’s this thing called the five-second rule Wow so 2011 was when that chapter of my life started I walked off that stage they put that thing on line and it’s almost 11 million views strong at this point yes now the five-second rule for those of you that are wondering is this it’s super simple the moment you begin to hesitate count 5 4 3 2 1 do not do it out loud you will scare people you sound insane 5 4 3 2 1 ok here I’m ready to go don’t count up you can keep going you’re gonna count backwards 5 4 3 2 1 and then you got a move and you’ve got to do this so that your mind doesn’t stop you and in a minute I’m gonna explain you I’m gonna explain some of the science but I want to tell you kind of some of the backstory so you know a funny thing happened as that talk started to spread people from around the world started to write and we’ve heard from more than a quarter of a million people in 90 countries now what do you suppose they write about they write about that stupid five-second rule but the things that they write about her crazy profound so you know this gentleman started using it and he’s on pace to double his business in 18 months more importantly he’s so present with his kids going 5 4 3 2 1 and waking up in the moment that he’s like dad of the year we see people using the rule in order to find the courage to reach out to people we see people using it in a selling situation because you know thinking about making the call won’t make the call happen thinking about making sales funny that doesn’t grow your business does it makes you smart doesn’t make you rich easy rule to teach to people you’re gonna become addicted to it because it’s so stupid and it works you’re gonna be surprised it works it’s free it’s unbelievable we know if people around the world that are also quitting terrible habits and we’re to talk a little bit about habits today we also see people that are becoming more productive we know of at least 21 people that have stopped themselves from committing suicide because no matter what I don’t care how amazing your life is or how low it gets your inner wisdom is always with you always and the key to getting what you want and we’re going to talk about the next chapter of your life that starts today is having the clarity to tune into that wisdom having the courage to listen to it and having the confidence to actually take action now if you wanted the license plate it’s gone and I need to say do not use this to get a tattoo and if you decide that you’re going to I am NOT responsible yes this keeps happening so that’s kind of my story okay it started in 2011 and and it created this incredible speaking career and I wrote this book that that is gone and exploded in terms of reaching and spreading the idea and take the five-second rule start using it it’s free it works walk out of here and try it but that brings me back to you because I’ve kind of had this feeling lately that a new chapter is starting do you feel that way I think so because I think that’s why you’re here there is a new chapter starting and I had something really weird happen to me the other day so the new chapter for me is is all about doing more work where I can connect with people doing less work where I’m on a stage and I don’t get to talk to people in terms of the exchange you walk out of here I may never see you again I hope not I hope not but doing more work like creating courses and creating more content online so I can stay connected to you so last week I did this course at creativeLIVE where I taught my first course seven hours long live with them it’s terrified absolutely terrifying and I had this sense I said the night before I said as we were there rehearsing before we’re about to do this course I feel like this is the beginning of a new chapter I really do and I’m one of those kind of weird people that I believe in signs you see I think that it’s a sign that you’re sitting here right now so that night right before the class I’m kind of freaking out I say to my business partner can you pick somewhere that we can go so we can work and she says sure and I said just pick a hotel somewhere so we can go get some work done and so we happened in the car have no idea where we’re going and we pull and I realize oh my god holy cow this is the hotel that I stayed in the night before that TEDx talk and there is the building where I gave that talk I had come full circle check this out [Music] we are at the st. Regis Hotel in San Francisco and I’m freaking out because when i walked in i realized that in 2011 which is six years ago i stayed in this hotel and gave the TED talk that TEDx talk that’s gone viral that launched my career that helped me spread the five-second rule I gave that TED talk across the street from here we walked into this hotel randomly and tomorrow I am teaching a course on the science of confidence with creative life and this is the beginning of the next phase of my career being the content creator having a company that creates courses and moving into the realm of influencer and out of the realm of corporate speaker and I feel so freaked out because I look for signs in life and this is a sign that I’ve come full circle I am completing this six year chapter of my career and I’m back to the place where it started to launch the next one cool right now that was about me but here’s this what’s your next chapter see I would do my job if I got you all so in action that you were on stage next year right that’s right because your doubts are creating mountains the reason why I’m here is I’m going to show you how to move them we’re gonna cover a couple things here the title of the talk was break the habit of self-doubt and rock confidence so what we’re gonna talk about is confidence what is it because a lot of us don’t understand it I know I didn’t understand it I had not the real confidence I had the fake kind you know they’re really bossy annoying in kind where it was really driven by insecurity what we want to talk about is real confidence the other thing we’re to talk about is the habit of self-doubt the habit of self-doubt so believe it or not self-doubt is a habit it’s a behavior a thinking pattern that you repeat over and over and then it becomes automated and when I can get you to understand that anxiety worry procrastination self-doubt they are all habits then I can show you using science how you can break them and then everything changes and it all comes back to these five second decisions if you had more confidence how would your business and life change for the better I’m gonna tell you how mine had when I finally learned what confidence is and what it isn’t number one I know how to say no how many of you have a hard time saying no you have clients who can’t stand you have people that work for you that drain you the ability to align your goals with values and actions fearless negotiator fearless greater self control by the way let me stop there for a second because I believe that in today’s world this is the number one skill for you self control and we’re gonna give you tools today there to give it to you you’re gonna make a lot more money and you’re gonna be a happier human being absolutely and I’m gonna show you how to do it we can talk about change all you want but I’m the kind of person that’s about real advice for real people and that’s gonna require some real action so as I’m talking I want you to notice what are the physical sensations the feelings that come up in your body when I ask you how would your life change if you had more confidence and you have an answer do you feel yourself shrinking do you feel yourself talking yourself out of raising your hand because if I can get you to start to isolate that pattern and that habit simply and how you respond to whether or not you’re gonna answer this question if I can break that right there so that you learn to try I almost fell off a minute okay there’s a thing you learn to try thank you but it’s like sir crowd-surf right now you got me okay then you can bring that anywhere I’m into experiential learning because you know I got this Lexia I’m a DV it’s really hard for me to read and retain so if I feel it if I have to do it then it sticks so talk about the myths and the truths about confidence okay number one confidence is a personality trait total baloney total baloney lots of extroverted people that are really bossing and annoying like I used to be although I might still be a little annoying but really insecure really insecure there’s a lot of introverted folks that feel uncomfortable putting themselves out there but they’re they really believe in what they’re saying so confidence is not a personality trait confidence is fixed that’s not true you could be the most confident person in the world and the person that you love leaves you that’s gonna rock confidence you could be a really great business person and then make a really bad decision and blow it all that’s gonna rock you number three the confidence starts with belief this is where I go against so many other people I actually believe that this is not true I think that thinking positive thoughts will certainly make you feel better in the moment but it’s not going to create change that you want that you can be a negative frustrated depressed anxiety ridden son of a gun and you can still take action and that taking action is key you see here’s the truth about confidence first of all it’s not a skill it’s a trait and that’s good news I’m excuse me it’s not a trait oh it’s a skill it’s not a trait see dyslexia and full display I was not lying about that confidence is a skill it’s not a trait confidence is situational so there are areas of your life where you are confident and then there are areas of your life where you have a ton of doubt and here’s the most important one confidence begins with action now this is not something that I made up and in a second I’m going to show you the science I want you to write this quote down if you have a problem that can be solved with action you don’t have a problem so a lot of us talk about the problems that we have but they’re actually not problems we’re stuck in one of the traps of self-doubt and that’s what we’re gonna be talking about in just a second but first I want to show you how you build confidence and let’s let’s look at the research because there’s really really strong research on this if you want more information on this just google the confidence competency loop the confidence competency loop let me show you what this is so basically if you try something either you’re gonna succeed or he’s going to survive now what happens if you survive it like you really blow it but you survived it well you learned something and then when you learn something what are you doing you’re building skills and when you’re building skills at something what are you gaining competency all competency means is that by learning something over and over and over again you have to do less thinking about it so you don’t have time to get anxious just like me and the bed I had time to lay there so I was thinking about all my problems the more you do something the more that you try the more you build skill and competency and that is where confidence comes so I want you to walk out of here not only with the 5 4 3 2 1 catch yourself when you feel yourself shrinking catch yourself when you feel yourself editing yourself or silencing yourself I also want you to walk out of here with a brand new definition of confidence which I’m going to give to you in a second because check this out all of us are gonna feel failure let me show you what happens when you are afraid of failing when you’re when you’re fearing it first of all you’re gonna start thinking aren’t you oh I don’t know if I want to give a speech I might be really bad at it and then I don’t know what I want to talk about and I’m not really sure am I writing am I not ready should I wear the tennis shoes should I wear the heels should I not know this should I do this and then of course as you think you’re gonna start to doubt yourself and this becomes this loop this is what researchers call a habit loop we’re gonna get more into this this is a chunk of behavior that gets encoded in this part of your brain you see you don’t you’re not a doubter you have a habit of doing it the same is true by the way when you feel nervous you start overthinking the same is true when you start feeling insecure the same is true when you feel like the fake the same is true when you start to get overwhelmed the same is true when you start to fear rejection all of those things normal it’s normal to be afraid of being rejected it sucks it’s normal to feel nervous these feelings are normal acting nervous is a choice there’s only one way to break a habit loop you have to insert a different behavior pretty neat huh see we spend way too much time with the red arrows I got to be fearless I can’t never I can’t ever worry I you know I it’s terrible to feel like a fake no it’s not it’s normal in fact you’re going to when you first relaunch your eco adventure company you’re gonna feel like a fake that is normal acting like one is a choice so the only way to break the habit of self-doubt and thinking is to take action and what action are you gonna take 5 4 3 2 1 and that if you do it over and over what’s a new habit in place this is how you build confidence 1 5 second decision at a time let me show you a little bit more science so right here is your brain and the red part right there that’s the basal ganglia that’s where all your habit loops get encoded everything that you do that you don’t think about worrying let me give you another example when you put on your pants do you put your right or your left leg in first you’re thinking about it aren’t you you don’t when you pull your jeans on it’s a pattern of behavior that is right here here’s the other problem this is also where worry is this is where anxiety is this is where depression is this is where self-doubt is it’s all right here this is where procrastination is what happens when you go 5 4 3 2 1 is you activate the prefrontal cortex what you know is the part of the brain that you need for strategic thinking for acting with courage for changing so the truth is in five seconds you can change anything and that changes everything and I want you to understand that to feel more confident about the things that you want to do in your next chapter it begins with being willing to try so if confidence is the decision to try because I also like the idea of you not thinking that the big topics like confidence are about how you feel I want to make them action based because you can’t control how you feel at times but you can always choose how you act so if confidence is the decision to try here’s the definition of self-doubt it’s the decision not to see one of the things that I’ve come to realize is that when you talk about self-doubt it’s such a big term that you tend to think that it’s just nothing that you can control but what if you started to consider that self-doubt is actually a decision it’s gonna give you a lot of power now remember I told you that your doubts create mountains and your actions move them so let me show you the four traps of self-doubt this is really incredible stuff so the four traps of self-doubt because I just said confidence is about an action self-doubt is a decision not to try and there are four ways for actions that we all engage in that are you deciding not to try here they are hesitating hiding hypercritical and helplessness so I’m gonna unpack these for you and I want you to be thinking for a minute I want you to think about that next chapter and as I roll these out I want you to think about are you stuck in this and by the way I can relate to every single one of these so when I think about the next chapter of getting into throwing events and and creating more and more courses and doing bigger and bigger things I can see myself and every single one of these okay so this is normal stuff and when you start to break it apart now you’ve got the power to change it so hesitation what does this look like first of all it’s triggered by answer t so if you feel uncertain about the changes that you want to make you’re gonna fall into this trap you’re gonna start hesitating you’re gonna find yourself waiting you’re gonna start overthinking you’re gonna want your work to be perfect who is struggling with hesitation right now okay come on up here Kelly Jo hop up can you climb out there yeah get up here let’s go Oh God this way you visualize she visually we give her the round of applause please is this the mic where’s the mic oh here’s the mic round of applause please just like yes thank you okay okay you’re gonna pee your pants this would be amazing it’s normally it’s me doing that on stage okay hi so what is the next chapter that you want in your life like what is it that you’re working on I was this right now to be here what do you mean I wanted at this conference to stand on this stage and then because I have stage fright it terrifies the out of me right now my voice is quivering now interesting what’s happening in your body my voice is shaking what else I feel like my chest is gonna cave in what else I’m really hot are you sweating it no but my head hurt and now I don’t the clammy hands yeah tightness in the throat very much how many of you kind of feel that for her yes those are your miracles right now you can feel all of that stuff and you can take action this is exactly what I’m talking about so what is it that you really want to do that you’re hesitating which would you wait do you ever think which one are you doing uncertainty yeah uncertainty overthinking so what do you want to create what’s the next chapter for you I want to give a voice to kids that have been sexually abused and let them let them know that they can talk about it Wow now how are you hesitating how are you stuck in this trap what are the things that you’re doing tell on yourself hmm hmm well I didn’t know that wasn’t answer till just now but uh I honestly have no idea right now right now I can hardly see I’m so excited that’s okay okay so come back to me so what are the things that you do that stop you from moving forward I get scared that I’m not gonna be able to provide for my kids okay what do you currently do I work in sales okay and so you basically tell yourself a story you’re over thinking that if I do this then like it’s one or the other no I mean like I kick ass in sales great and you do that wonderfully like okay it’s just who I am this right here standing here and feeling like my story is important it’s not easy because you’re a survivor – yes so am I it starts with the willingness to try do you see this but actually hearing what was in here and being brave enough five four three two one it starts with that otherwise you get trapped in hesitating you get trapped in thinking well I’m so good in sales I can’t even possibly start that but I got so much going on I couldn’t possibly find the time Who am I to do that I don’t even know but I’d have stage fright right yep so the thing that I want you to understand what is one thing let’s leverage the progress principle do you guys know the progress principle this is fantastic research from the Harvard Business School that just came out where there was a really fastidious professor that studied thousands and thousands and thousands of people and their daily work she made him keep journals and then she crunched all the data it’s on the journal to figure out what makes somebody have a great day at work what makes somebody come home and feel like they’ve gotten a lot done what makes them feel productive it was really simple super simple did they make progress on one thing that mattered to them today that’s it so this is your one thing that matters to you and so what I want you to do leaving here and for all of you that fall into this category hesitating I did this with the event thing the event side of my business that I want to do been doing this for years overthinking this thing coming up with reasons over thinking over thinking if this is you I want you to leverage the progress principle I want you every morning to write down one thing that mattered like that that you can do just one thing today forward is forward I don’t care how small it is and then five four three two one find five minutes to just inch that ball down the field because what happens is when you start to see yourself taking action on something that’s important to you like giving a voice to survivors of sexual abuse whether it’s just researching or taking the online course or just buying a book or just having a conversation or just why chinga video if you do that every single day what happens is you start to see yourself becoming the kind of person that’s doing it this is the secret to everything everything I cannot stress this enough and I cannot thank you enough for your bravery okay of course yeah I better take this okay there we go good job okay here’s another one hiding hiding hiding is triggered by fear hiding is triggered by fear if you’re hiding you know if you’re hiding cuz you avoid people right a lot of people in Direct Selling do this right you know who you want to call but you’re not gonna call him nope or you’re in a meeting and you’re silent or you see somebody want to meet and you’re silent you’re being a chicken I was a big chicken about money for a while I hid a lot in this category procrastinating all right who’s next who sees himself art Julie oh hold on you’re great Julie come up at you’re in the pink hair you’re next okay come on Julie get up here give her a round of applause she’s doing the work for all of us Wow okay she’s not hiding anymore okay yes hi are you we hold this and I crush on you right you do cool so what is your next chapter so I want to open up a national chain of nutrition companies like a nutrition say you can feel these things and you can keep moving okay see she’s doing the work for you for all of us this is what it looks like to try the feelings are normal letting them stop you that’s a choice you guys want to hear my heart we can no be your radiance so I am a nutritionist and have a small office and I’ve been hiding and helping people but I want to take it larger like a big Jenny Craig type of thing but more natural like helping people figure out their issues and support and accountability do you see hiding as a choice you see that hiding is a choice yes okay and what are you afraid of why are you hiding I’m scared I’m scared what are you scared I guess I’m scared of failure yeah okay you’re the failure and I’m I’m afraid my life is gonna change and I’ll be so busy that I won’t be able to go on vacation or hang out with my kids or yeah who can relate to that yeah you know what’s so interesting about that is that when you’re afraid of failure and you don’t take action you kind of feel like a failure don’t you mmm-hmm cuz your dream wants you a little bit yeah so the thing that you’re most afraid of you’ve already got cuz you’re you’re really you’re really struggling underneath this big dream that you have so in terms of hiding so if you’re somebody that hides the key is is literally literally baby steps the other thing that I’m gonna tell you about the hiding self-doubt trap is that you’re always gonna be terrified it’s always gonna feel like a big deal and so expect it to okay expect it to so the other thing I want you to do is because the other thing that people do that hide is you here how big it is did you hear national chain now that is the dream but what could the next chapter be that’s not so scary local so let’s start with I want you leaving here and the next chapter of your life is actually launching the first prototype does that make sense now what is something that you can do tomorrow that would force you out of your shell and to not hide to inch forward one action toward a local find a location or research do some sort of research on building yes this is exactly right you don’t know you’re building competency you don’t know how do you figure it out you push yourself to try and it doesn’t matter what you try you got to look at buildings you got to look at other concepts you’ve got to read a book on the business you got to talk to people in the business this is what’s so exciting about the next chapter you’re gonna figure it out got it okay good give her a round of applause I love you all right let me give you the other one and then we’ll bring you up I’ll bring you up you can come up while I explain this okay so the next one hyper critical so this is when you lawyer things to death this is when you argue against yourself and this is usually triggered by past failures so if you’re somebody that got burnt in a relationship and you’re busy arguing I’m not doing online dating I’m never dating again if you’ve got burnt and business and you are worried about starting again you argue against yourself so there are things that are opportunities and yet you’re the one that’s so critical and if this isn’t you it might be somebody in your life where you see the greatness in them and they’re like yeah I don’t know and and you always focus on the reasons why you can’t like you can’t even see the possibility you fixate on what could go wrong your stress has an edge to it so hiding is quiet and avoiding hesitating is very busy this has an edge okay come on up here give her a round of applause hi how are you nice to meet you come on over here let’s go in the middle so everybody can see you okay so what is it that you would like to change what’s your next chapter my next chapter is actually moving forward I’ve taken a huge leap and I’ve left my full-time job without really if any kind of a financial plan in place like my family does not have health insurance right now um and I’m in direct sales and also building businesses I’m not exactly sure where it’s going right now but it has been in the making for 20 years like literally I took my profession that took me off to the side let me ask you what is it that is what are you doing to get in your own way where is the type of self-doubt whether it’s hiding hesitating hypercritical it’s hesitating and hypercritical okay and I’m staying too busy to focus on continuing to make that so what is the one thing that you need to be doing so for those of you that are arguing against yourself you’re hyper critical you’re negative I guarantee you you know the thing that you need to be doing it might be cold calls it might be getting out there more in talking about your business this one we see a lot in people trying to build a direct selling business that you argue against yourself instead of getting into action so let’s tell one on yourself what is the one thing that you need to be doing that you constantly avoid or talk yourself out of I’m not getting out there and recruiting and building my team because I’m afraid I’m I’m afraid that I haven’t provided enough for my family and the people that I already have and so I just tell myself I I really don’t deserve to have more because I’m not taking care of what I currently have that must be paralyzing yeah okay so you’ve got two choices two choices and you’re gonna make a decision right now you’re either gonna go get a job so that you don’t have that excuse anymore that’s option a or you’re going to every time you catch yours you’re gonna make a little plan in the morning of the things you need to do and you know exactly what they are and when you catch yourself shrinking hiding complaining you’re gonna go five four three two one because in five seconds flat self-doubt procrastination can derail you or you can step in and push yourself forward door number a find a job and therefore we remove the excuse order number B give yourself a timeline you’ve got two months to get this done and every day you are going to push yourself what’s your choice five four three two one let’s go every day make a choice move forward great I want you to do this for two months if after two months you have not made this happen you need to get a job so that you are providing the insurance for your family but I want to give you a two-month runway to absolutely crush it you got it good okay thanks excellent all right final one the final one is helplessness and I realized I want I need to have a man come up here triggered by insecurity or low self-worth you’re what set you’re ready he’s ready he’s hopeless so get up here okay he’s hungry oh he’s hungry okay so helplessness by the way if you actively play the big victim if you know the solution if you know the solution if you say nothing ever goes my way if you’ve got all the excuses in the book this is this trap these are all actions by the way hey he’s hungry okay good I’m great actually this is pretty awesome right now awesome yes five four three two one I just finished listening to the book awesome you’re the one yes um two weeks so what is it that you want to change what are you working on what’s the next chapter Sterns today the nice chapter in my life right now is to create an altitude of vision to help people heal their spirits while building their body Wow yes so does that mean I don’t mean to be rude but is that like personal training no what does it mean okay it’s it’s it’s a personal experience personal experience yes I lost 55 pounds six years ago outstanding and now I’m helping others do the same okay so I want to I’m part of a business a part of a partnership and I want to take that to a more deeper level okay so now let me quantify that me so here’s another mistake that we all make so I get the vision cuz you can feel as he’s talking the passion right but I don’t hear any specifics so if you find yourself in the Dreaming space and you can’t get anything from this level to this level is that like from here to here the problem is we’re not talking specifics so either you’re not talking like I make a hundred grand right now in my business and I want to get to seven figures or I make seventeen dollars and I want to get to 1,700 this month so if you’re in that space if people don’t quite get where you’re talking about or you don’t know what to do next you’re not specific enough got it so quickly where is your business now and what does it look like in the next chapter specifically is it a money bridge is it a what is it it’s it’s a mental branch to me I just feel like right now I’m at the beginning stage it’s funny that I’m here right now cuz yesterday I was with my lady who was at the house and I created a plan already great I wrote everything down on a piece of paper then I put it to the side outside watching Netflix oh of course right watch the Netflix okay the plan your business is on Netflix okay but again that is driven by the habit of self-doubt right you get confronted by the plan so we choose to go over here you hide right you can now catch yourself five four three two one here’s the thing what does it look like if the business is launched is there a location no okay how many clients do you need to have paying you before this will be launched how many clients paying you at least six a week six clients a week paying you what $50 an hour $50 an hour by when are we doing that October 2nd October 2nd I would have given you a dollar if you said October 6 cuz that’s my birthday but there we go okay October 6 there we go you got a dollar I’ll set it okay so six clients a week paying $50 yes an hour by October 6 yes do you hear the difference you guys we have just defined what it means for him to relate to this as the business is launched it is now out of up here and now that we have defined the dream it’s become a plan not a dream amen got it yes ma’am okay good go do it awesome thank you you’re welcome again god bless you you